Ep 14 - Hometown eviction

So for this last 2nd last blog I’m going to take a coaching perspective. If I’d been given the same amount of insight from my clients as the show has shared (which is probably about right – as we will only ever have 1 side to go from) this is the advise I’d give Sam and the girls.

In order of the home visits.

Heather has told us she’s fallen for him and told him that she cares, but I wonder has she really shared her true feelings.

Has she really told him that she can’t said the ‘L’ word about him to her best friend yet; therefore is holding back her emotions and physical expressions until she has more confirmation about things are going to turn out.

My advise would have been to tell him, that now that they have established the friendship she wants, she’s ready for more. He’s shared that he’s worried about staying in the zone so he needs to know she WANTS him physically as well as companionably.

My take is that guys like to be touched and from watching him with Snez and Lana he does too. He wants to feel her desire for him and personally I think she’s protecting herself and holding back from taking it to the next level. Which would be fine in the real world, as time is not normally an issue.

However I’m not sure if Heather has considered that whilst she’s protecting herself the other ladies may not be.

Onto Sarah, again I think the lack of true expression is stopping this connection growing quickly enough. He has said he know she’s not good at expressing herself with words, so she needs to do it a little more physically, although she does respond well to his kisses.

I wonder if her lack of partnerships will have an impact on her being able to quickly (and easily) express herself completely. I’d advise like Heather to open up with the words and physical expression. I understand there are cameras everywhere - and close up, but if you really want the guy, you kinda have to throw your inhibitions to the side a little. Similar to Heather he needs to know what you thinking.

Having said that I can see why she is in the last 3 based on their interactions. I do think she will be the next to leave though.

With Snezana I worry, I’m not sure if Sam is truly ready for a pre-made family (and such a big – protective- one). I’d advise her to really think about how their lives might combine, it’s not just the daughter or the combining of 2 cultures and large family, its also the location. These 3 aspects make everything more complicated.

Sam has said that he would like to wait to start a family with Sarah so whilst Eve is old enough to travel with them I wonder if that is what he really wants right now. My advise would be to have a looong conversation about their 2 lifestyles before proceeding any further – although the show probably wouldn’t enable this.

Finally there is Lana. I think everything lines up here. He’s physically attracted to her, intellectually she turns him on, she’s got a similar family lifestyle and they could combine their upbringing and loves of the world together.

My advise to her would be to keep doing what you’re doing. Yes guard yourself against the fact this is a competition and you are initially deeply attracted to him, within only a few weeks but IS he actually good enough for you?

I wonder if there is a lack of something for her in the long term. There is a difference intellectually but there is emotional intelligence compatibility. Take the competition out of it and see where you land. Do you really talk enough of the same language? As you mentioned it’s hard to find the right guy to ‘tick your boxes’ what is he not ticking?

And of course Sam, the advise here is simple.

What did you want and daydream about before you started the show?

Did you have clarity about the kind of life you wanted to lead with your ideal partner. If so which of the 3 remaining ladies works most into that life.

I do agree there needs to be flexibility, we don’t always get what we want, BUT with a rare decision to be made that will be broadcast on national TV and any fall out possibly impacting your reputation and even your business, you have to be clear about what you want and who can most fit into that. There is no right or wrong answer to this, its about your and your life’s desires.

Which lady most fits and if they don’t could they with more time?

It seems you might have to propose after only knowing one another 3 months and having only had about 5 dates, that would be a rare piece of advise I’d give out!

Things can be negotiated and you are an incredibly considerate decent guy. My comment about the intellectual difference with Lana doesn’t mean you can’t find alignment on that level, in fact she’s who I would suggest you go for, even though I love the others. But it’s actually about you now, not them.

I don’t envy your decisions but know that based on how you have conducted yourself so far, you will thoroughly consider all the scenarios and respect the ladies.

I do believe you will make the right choice for you, you are switched onto yourself and understand things such as knowing Sarah expressing herself with her eyes. You are a smart rare gentleman and I’m sure will make the right decision for all.

I predict Sarah to leave next, then Snez and you will settle down with Lana and make beautiful babies when you’re both done travelling.

Lets see what happens in the final 2 shows next week!

Either way I‘m pretty sure there will be offers of marriage to those that don’t end up in the finale, they’ve had some pretty good dating adverting over the last 8 weeks.